Fraternity Formals

I am attending Phi Delt formal this weekend and our discussions in class really got me thinking about the whole greek system especially with formals. Getting invited to this formal is considered a gift from these boys to us (the girls attending). They act like they are doing us some huge favor. In order to go with them we have to decorate a cooler for them which has cost me over 100 dollars and at least 10 hours of time. We also have to fill it up with alcohol for them. Additionally we stay in a hotel with them and there is only one bed. I just feel like this system makes the girls feel like I must hook up with him and give him whatever he wants because he invited me to this super fun formal and I must serve him with alcohol and decorate a cooler for him that costs a lot because I am so lucky to have gotten invited. Don't get me wrong I am excited to go, I just feel like some girls get too caught up in these events and feel as if they have to do everything the boy asks of them because he invited her to his formal. When I was talking to one of my friends about how the cooler and filling it up was a lot of work they just responded to me saying well we do a lot for you guys to, we invited you. It really hit me when he said that that these guys really think it is like some huge favor they are doing us by taking us to a hotel in Nashville and getting us all drunk and trying to hook up with us. Like yes it is going to be a fun weekend but don't flatter yourself that you are so cool that we should feel so blessed to have even gotten considered to be asked to be their date.

"Jackass of the Week": Chris Christie

My blog this week was inspired by an article I read on feminist website Nerve.com about how New Jersey governor Chris Christie tried to blame "bridgegate" on an "emotional" and "erratic" female staffer. For those of you unfamiliar with this recent political drama, "bridgegate" is referring to the incident in which Governor Christie's staff engineered a series of traffic drams at the George Washington Bridge in a juvenile attempt to get back at the mayor of Fort Lee, New Jersey. He received a lot of heat for purposefully jamming up one of the most heavily traveled routes in the U.S. and has since made some pathetic attempts to shimmy out of blame. He had already thrown his aide, Bridget Anne Kelly, under the bus and tried to use her as a scape goat. That was low enough, but now his lawyers have even submitted written statements, blaming Kelly's mistake on her eagerness to please Christie and her unstable emotional state due to a recent breakup. I am so sick of this. In my opinion, that is one of the most overused and disgusting tactics to destroy the credibility of women. This article just goes to show that it is still very prevalent in politics today.

http://www.nerve.com/love-sex/jackass-of-the-week-chris-christie

http://www.returnofkings.com/30402/most-women-dont-deserve-a-good-man

I saw a facebook friend of mine posted this as his status the other day. A couple of guys commented saying how it was exactly how they feel, and because their last girlfriend cheated on them and fit this description all girls definitely fit this description. I don't know him well, and from observing my newsfeed I think facebook "debates" almost always turn into immature fights that are awkward for everyone involved, so I stopped myself from saying anything haha. There are alot of great counter arguments to this but a simple one I would have liked to comment in a fit of frustration just include some points; Yes, there are humans out there that are hypocrites and half of those humans happen to be females. By definition hypocrites judge others for actions they themselves commit. So, in a relationship setting extreme hypocrites probably find themselves cheating on their significant others while expecting their partners not to cheat. One reason why this ignorant man is probably mistaking  hypocrisy in these women hes referencing for an innate personality feature in all women is because of them apparently referencing some of the gender relationship norms of behavior perpetuated in the mainstream media. (IE in most typical movies the main female character realizes she should be with the man who opens her doors etc.) Which yeah, displays an inability to see more than surface value and have inner reflection (like most hypocrits)
Lastly, it makes sense this man has come in contact with these hypocritical women that he uses to generalize all women considering his quote, "Let’s not even get into the women I personally have hooked up with over the years who were married or had boyfriends. That was something I did mostly in my 20’s and is not worth the hassle or risk these days, but I truly don’t think the average guy out there realizes what shady creatures women are by nature". He so casually mentions the women he has been in relationships that he knew were in a relationship, having no remorse or acknowledgement for the benefits he received and part he played in these womans' hurtful actions. It makes sense he would attract fellow hypocrites and simplify the issue of a lack of self reflection by generalizing a sex. 

Fraternities, Little Sister vs Sweethearts

http://totalfratmove.com/50-things-sorority-girls-should-know-about-fraternity-guys/

After our discussion on fraternities and little sisters, I began to search for history on the topic and ran across this article about 50 things sorority girls should know about fraternity guys. It was something sad to see because every idealistic concept on the list reconfirms this weeks article about fraternity life.

Little sisters are no longer around, dropped because of liability concerns and negative images, and sweethearts have taken their place. The term sweetheart is just a play on words because a sweetheart performs the same duties as a little sister would to a fraternity. I think its a double standard. Why is one women treated as though she is better than another when they both  met the same standard to attend the university in the first place. The only difference is the sweetheart is connected to a sorority. The following publication from a fraternity advisor sounded to me like they were advertising for a whore. Sorry for the term, but thats what I got out of reading the article. Tell me if I am wrong?

http://thefraternityadvisor.com/fraternity-sweetheart/

Hills Like White Elephants by Earnest Hemingway

http://www.asdk12.org/staff/grenier_tom/HOMEWORK/208194_Hills_Like_White_Elephants.pdf

"Hills like White Elephants" is an amazing short story by Earnest Hemingway.  It is beautifully written, and filled with amazing imagery, symbolism, and allusions.  For those of you who don't know, a white elephant is a noun used to describe an item that is useless or troublesome.  White elephants are often very difficult to get rid of and cause more problems than they're worth.  This story takes place at a train station bar.  It is a very telling encounter between a man and a woman.  Even though very little is said by either person, the reader is able to get a fairly good look into the couple's lives.  It took me a second time reading the story to understand what it was about because Hemingway uses a lot of euphemisms and very understated and simple language.  I really recommend this story to everyone.  It is a very short read and definitely worth the time.

My Feelings on Planned Parenthood Protesters

Honestly I never knew about any of this until just last week. I was driving down forest park and I saw protesters holding signs reading "Pray for the babies." I did not even know that they were standing in front of planned parenthood because I did not know we had one so close to our campus. After the class talk we had I am not really happy about these protesters. I understand that people have a lot of feelings about abortions but they should keep in mind that no woman WANTS to have an abortion. It is something they have to live with for the rest of their life, and in most cases is something that has to be done. Having the choice of losing a child is very hard to deal with, so having people yell at them and protest about it does not make the situation easier. At the end of the day, until abortion is banned, women are going to still have them. Protesting is not going to change their mind, because when they pull up to Planned Parenthood, their minds are almost 100% set on having an abortion.

No Make-Up Selfies?

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/queensland/theres-no-bravery-in-no-makeup-selfies-20140327-35lyx.html

I'm not sure about you guys, but I frequently see some of my Facebook friends posting "no make-up selfies" in order to supposedly raise awareness for cancer. Personally, I believe this is a lot like "slacktivism," where individuals jump on the most recent social media bandwagon in a lazy attempt to raise awareness for a cause. This particular article is written by a woman who survived cancer, who is appalled by this no make up selfie craze. As she explains, the battle with cancer can put a toll on your body, making one lose self-confidence in their physical appearance due to the medication and chemotherapy. I know when my mom at a battle with lupus, she said that the changes that can impact one's body over such a short period of time is extremely emotional. Yet the no make-up selfie campaign promotes women to take selfies without make-up on, almost insinuating that a woman without make-up on is at her absolute ugliest and comparable to a woman with cancer.

What is your opinion about this campaign? I already hate the stigma that wearing make-up puts on our society, and that women need to wear make-up to be gorgeous and that they look their absolute best when they are wearing make-up. Do you think the no make-up selfie actually promotes awareness or is just a chance for women to come out of their make-up covered shell and post a picture of who they REALLY are without fear of public backlash?

Ted Talk about Disability Media Representations

http://www.ted.com/talks/maysoon_zayid_i_got_99_problems_palsy_is_just_one

I watched a Ted Talk recently by comedian Maysoon Zayid. I thought it tied in really well with our class discussions about how disability is a socially constructed concept. The majority of the talk is about how she is a representation of intersectionality she's muslim, pakistani, a woman, and she has cerebral palsy, but that of these different characteristics the least represented in the media is people with disabilities. I think a really good point that she brings up is that the largest minority in the world is people with disabilities, and that even despite this they are very few media representations of them. She also talks about how Hollywood casts abled bodied actors and actresses the majority of the time to represent those with disabilities. This seems completely ridiculous to me, because as she points out she herself was denied a role of a woman with cerebral palsy... which she has. I thought the video did a really good job of showing that how society reacts to and portrays disabilities needs to change.

Paltrow's Motherhood Comment Backlash

http://nypost.com/2014/03/27/a-working-moms-open-letter-to-gwyneth-paltrow/
I'm sure some of you have heard about the controversy surrounding Gwyneth Paltrow's recent comments about how difficult she has it working fourteen hours a day filming, while mothers with "regular" 9-5 hours have it really easy compared to her.  I am not writing to villainize the well-known actress; rather, I am more interested in the obvious flaws with the statement and their consequences.  The letter above was written by a full-time working mother who was particularly concerned with the spread of such opinions.  In class, we have discussed how important celebrities' roles are in the everyday functioning of the country, and many people will espouse or lend credibility to a statement just because it came from a celebrity's mouth.  If people really take to heart what Paltrow is saying about the relative ease of being a full-time worker and a mother, then the stigma on working mothers (especially minimum-wage single working mothers) will only grow worse.  As the letter mentions, nothing about this lifestyle is particularly easy.  Paltrow only focuses on actual shift hours and does not consider any other outside factors, such as that she, unlike many couples and single parents, have a staff to take care of her children and handle things like meals and transportation that many people in this country have difficulty affording.  She also disregards how difficult the job economy is, as her job (at least for the time being) is much stabler in comparison, especially for women who are discriminated against in the world of business.  In my opinion, this represents a world view warped by privilege.  However, Paltrow is not the only celebrity who has shown such tendencies, and hopefully the environment and circumstances that create such views will be analyzed and criticized more than the actual celebrities themselves.

Confusion.

So I've never experienced this but I've heard experiences from people who have. It has had me thinking lately since that discussion we had in class about transgendered people.

First let me clarify that I don't judge people. I don't see color, I don't stereotype, or do any other negative things toward people. However I do question a few things, and May be uncomfortable about certain situations when I'm confused. Like what i am about to say. But before I go there, my main question is, "am I wrong or mean for feeling the way I do right now?"


Here's the example story:
EXAMPLE #1:
I am in a locker room at a local gym, when I notice a "man" walking in. Keep in mind that I am changing my clothes like I would normally do in a locker room. Anyways, as he approaches I can tell that he has female features and it dawns on me that he is a transgender. Now when he first walked in, I am startled and jump for my towel. I feel invaded, just like I would if any man whom I didn't allow, saw me undressing.

EXAMPLE #2:
I am in a locker room at a local gym and a MAN, who considers himself a woman, walks in. He looks like a woman however he has clear manly features. Im changing just like in the last example, however I'm not as startled because I'm more confused.


Now I would NEVER say rude comments or even my feelings about it to that person if I were in those situations but I would ask someone I know how I am supposed to feel. So I would like to ask you all. Is it rude of me to be startled or feel uncomfortable? Am I a negative person? I'm just confused about these situations and how I would truly feel.

How would you all react? Would you continue dressing?

Art Museum Visit

My visit the the Saint Louis Art Museum focused mostly around images of women from 1800's America. One of the biggest themes of these paintings is the public/private divide between men and women. One of the most striking images was in a painting that depicted election day in the early 1800's. As we have discussed in class, the reasoning behind the public/private divide often centers around the idea that the public is too rough and threatens to taint the purity of women, while the private is supposed to remain innocent and be a haven for men from the trials of the public world. Women, who make up the private sphere, are supposed to be the enforcers of virtue and morality in an otherwise immoral society.

The paining expresses this belief perfectly. It depicts men drunkenly celebrating in huge crowds in the street in front of city hall, with a group of women dressed in all white standing on a balcony in the background. The public streets are shown as unsafe and unclean for the innocent women. While the problem is clearly much more extreme in the painting, this problem of using paternalistic understandings of protection to oppress women is still very much alive in contemporary America, and its depiction in this painting shows that the problems facing women have not disappeared, but have instead changed form in order to avoid detection and continue to survive.

More Texas Abortion Laws

There was a law passed in Texas recently that was just upheld by the supreme court that mandates that all abortion providing doctors must have admission privileges at a hospital within 30 miles from the location of the procedure in order for it to be considered a legal abortion.

At first glance, the justification for the law seems tom make sense; it is supposed to ensure that the abortion is safe by making sure that if there is a complication, the doctor will be able to take the patient straight to the hospital. It also seems on the surface to be much less paternalistic than other types of restrictions such as waiting periods.

When you think further about the real reasons for the law, it becomes clear that it is highly restrictive. As we mentioned in our class discussion, laws like this make it much harder for women living in rural areas to have abortions. Even if exemptions were made for these cases, however, the law would still be completely unjustified. The majority of other outpatient procedures, many of which are much more dangerous, do not have the same requirements. On top of this, legal abortion providers must also be licensed and provide abortions in official clinics that are capable of dealing with most complications.

After deeper analysis, it becomes clear that this law too is not actually aimed at protecting women, but is instead designed for the sole purpose of restricting women's right to choose.

Event - Dove Model Speaks

I went to the speech given by Stacy Nadeau, former member of the Dove 6 (who appeared on the original billboard in Times Square) and current traveling speaker.  The talk mainly focused on women's body image and how the media distorts it.  I learned that the image is so distorted that doctors have said most of the images are actually humanly impossible to achieve - for example, no human can possibly have necks as long and thin as several models are photoshopped to have; the head would be unable to be properly supported.  Although this taught me exactly how unattainable model perfection is (even for the models themselves), I still did not learn why these particular standards were set in the first place.  In fact, I'm not sure anyone consciously knows how they came about besides general societal notions (for example, thin = ability to eat healthy and healthy = expensive organic food, therefore thin = wealthy and wealth = power = beauty).
The campaign itself was very inspirational for me as someone who has suffered from low self-esteem based on my body for many years, though I'd be lying if I thought that was going to change overnight.  However, I really think that despite flaws here and there ("you need beauty products to be socially acceptable" mentalities that several of y'all have mentioned in class) it is definitely a step in the right direction.  For example, the campaign saved the life of a severely anorexic girl who was suffering, in part, due to media bombardment of really thin women.  When she saw how comfortable the more realistically sized models were, she decided that her illness should not get to win nor society define her as beautiful based on measurements.  There are some things that I think Dove could incorporate in the future to have a more extensive message.  For example, the speaker was the largest model of the original six, but she is a self-professed size 10-12.  While these sizes may not be considered "thin," I do not think they are really very large either; in fact, today they are average or close to it.  I'm interested to see if Dove would incorporate any larger women (plus-sized for lack of better terminology) in their campaign to drive home the point that beauty is not determined by size.  Also, the campaign includes members of racial minorities, but they are at a lesser ratio than their white counterparts and tend to be of a lighter "darkness." I would like to see women with darker skin used as well because I personally believe that all skin tones are beautiful and thus deserve more coverage.

Event Post: Dove Speaker (Stacey Nadeau)

On Monday I went to the Dove speaker, Stacey Nadeau. She was a spokesperson for the Dove Real Beauty campaign. I found her message and talk to me so incredible. I have recently been doubting my body, and regretting all that beer and all those Salsaritas nachos I have been eating, but this all changed after her speech. She told us that we are real women, and we can't compare ourselves to the models we see. I have always knows there was photoshop and that it is used extensively on the covers of magazines, however it seemed to really just hit home in the midst of her speech. I have definitely gained some weight since attending college, but I am still not fat by any means. She taught us that real women have curves and have things, and we won't look l like those women on the cover of magazines. She shared with us a story about the dove evolution video where the woman is shown first with no makeup and then she is shown getting all made up and then she is shown on a computer through all the editing. A doctor commented on this add and said that the final image of the model that made it to the billboard is genetically impossible. If someone had that long and skinny of a neck they wouldn't be able to hold their own head up even, and this really got me to thinking. I came to the realization that I can never look like these models no matter how hard I try because they alter them so much to the point where it isn't humanly possible. I have been shopping for bikinis lately for summer, and I was on the victorias secret website looking at some and I was like oh my gosh there is no way I am going to be able to wear this bikini this summer, I am not skinny enough and people will judge me. But after this talk I have the confidence that I can wear a bikini and be just fine. I was comparing myself to the victorias secret models who are picked because they are incredibly skinny and have great bodies but they are 12 of like 4 billion women in the world. The reality is not everyone can look like that and the fact that advertising tries to get to us and make us not feel beautiful by showing us these select few geneticly blessed women isn't fair to us. Stacey also shared one very powerful story that really changed my view of things. She told about how she was meeting people after an interview on the Today Show, i think that's what show it was, and this mother came up to her crying her eyes out and said thank you. Stacey just said you are welcome it is no problem. The mother looked at her and said you don't get it do you? My daughter is alive because of you. Her daughter was struggling from extreme anorexia and was hospitalized, after seeing this add however she changed her mind and decided she was going to get healthy. She gained 13 pounds in three months and was able to return home. This made me decide that I am going to wear a bikini this summer even though I am not in the best of shape. I am going to wear one and if by me being confident in my body it helps someone then great. Maybe by wearing a bikini I can show some girl out there on the same beach as me that real women don't look like victorias secret model in their bikinis, they look like me. If I at least help one girl feel better then that is enough for me, even if I don't help anyone I am helping myself which is great too. Self confidence is a huge thing women in this society need to have especially since everyone is just trying to tear us down.

Women and Weight

This is an issue that I realized was a big deal when I went to Stacy Nadeau event. Our society has created this image that a girl is only wanted if she is skinny. Due to this most girls tend to either stop eating or find ways to lose weight. Many want to deny it, but every girl has to go through this phase and keep thinking that the only way they are wanted if they are skinny. I think it is important to be fit, but to stop eating is never a solution. A women should be able to eat, wear, do etc. in what she is comfortable with. We tend to think about what a guy would think rather than what's healthy for us. There is no definition of the word beautiful if we can't do what we are comfortable in. I think we as a society can help with this issue by not talking over someone' weight. As girl we talk about how we need to lose weight, but we also go to someone who is skinny and say "have you not been eating?", this needs to stop both ways. If they are skinny doesn't mean they don't eat, maybe they have metabolism or a victim of anorexia., we don't know what they are going through. It is something that our society needs to look into more and try to find a solution.

Event: Stacy Nadeau "Embracing the Beauty"

On Monday, I attended the event mentioned in the title and it definitely put me into a deep thought over the issue of beauty in our society. Stacy Nadeau was one of 6 dove models who appeared in a underwear back in the 2005 campaign. My first reaction to that was wow they all have confident and are probably lived the dream. However, as soon as she started sharing some incidents, I felt disgusted by the people in our society. One of her incident talked about the a guy telling her that her poster by the bus stop helps him wake up every morning. Even though, we laughed at the story, later on it made me realize that this is a very dangerous gesture to be made and it is disgusting that a man will comment on something like this. Along with that, a news column mentioned how the size of her thighs is what he looks forward to in KFC chicken wing basket. Stacy didn't respond, but the news reporter was forced to apologize by the amount of hatred calls he received after the post. Even though, I was angered by the post, i was more surprised that people actually reacted to it. This topic led to discussion of what beauty is? I think this is a question that every girl asks when she looks in the mirror early morning or when she is complaining about weight or facial problems. Stacy mentioned a survey and how only 2% said that they feel comfortable calling them beautiful. As a women, we think of beauty as how we appear, but never think about the beauty inside us. I agree with Stacy how we should workout not to be skinny, but for our own health. If we are not going to be comfortable, we won't be able to proceed further. I loved the way she ended and would like to tell this to everyone as well, "be friend to yourself" and don't be to harsh on yourself.

Top Ten Ways To Get Away With Rape

Our conversation in class today immediately took me back to something that I read in the Fall of 2012, concerning an incident on Miami University's campus in Oxford Ohio.  You can read the link below if you want, but the basic gist was that a flier was found in a coed residence hall on their campus with "The Top Ten Ways to Get Away With Rape".  Some of the most egregious ones listed in my opinion include:

- If a woman's window is locked, sneak in and rape her to teach her not to do it again
- Practice makes perfect, the more you rape the better you get
- If you're afraid the girl will identify you, slit her throat
- RAPE RAPE RAPE, it's college boys live it up

There are definitely other terrible ones on there as well.  The most difficult part of this for me is that I just accepted a position in a masters program at this university, and as a part of it I will be in charge of running a hall by myself on campus.  Being from Ohio, I am well acquainted with the rape culture that is incredibly pervasive on this campus, but I had completely forgotten about this incident.  Though I hope I will not be put in a situation where I have to handle something like this, I know it is a possibility.  The fact that things like this exist is just appalling.

Here is the link if anyone wants to read the whole thing: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/flier-found-miami-university-ohio-advises-top-ten-ways-rape-article-1.1184009

My view on "Damages"

So I have recently become very devoted to a series (available on Netflix!) that is about the high-stakes legal world, called "Damages". This show is filled with exciting cliff-hangers, a well developed plot, and lots of witty dialogue, but one thing in particular that stands out to me is that the plot circles around two female actresses, Glenn Close as Patty Hewes and Rose Bryon as Ellen Parsons.
Patty Hewes is the brilliant, fearsome, litigator who runs her own law firm and is a well-known legend in the legal world. Ellen Parsons is a very ambitious and bright lawyer fresh out of law school. While this show does an accurate job of representing the struggles of women in high positions (Patty and Ellen are often referred to as "bitches", men in the show try to use sexist language and sex-related threats to keep them "in their place"), it does not make that a key focus of the show. I think that this is important, because no one wants to watch a show that feels like a public service announcement; I've personally seen shows like this that dwell uncomfortably on things like the importance of birth control or equality towards the gay community or the disabled community. While these are undoubtedly extremely important issues that should be addressed in some form, I believe that it must be eased in as naturally as possible, lest they come off as trying to hard or only appealing to a narrow audience. "Damages" makes the idea of women in power seem so natural that one would wonder why anyone would have a problem with it. It is such a good show that I have heard men and women alike proudly recommend it, thus allowing it to sidestep the gender specific trap of the "chick-flick" genre.

Hate Patty Hewes because she is manipulative and cold, love her because she is often the only one brave enough to stand up to the bullies of the corporate role, but don't let such a trivial thing as gender affect your views.

"Technology is Feminisms Friend and Foe"

http://www.cnn.com/2014/03/18/living/technology-empowering-women-identity/

This is a really interesting article on CNN about the relationship between feminism and the use of technology. The interesting thing is that the Internet can be both helpful and harmful to feminist. Two strengths the article highlights with the use of technology with woman’s issues are the ability to connect and the ability of woman to have a voice. A cool point the article made was how different it would have been if woman’s rights activists such as Gloria Steinem had a twitter in the 60s and 70s. Technology has had such an impact on the world since its invention and it is astonishing to think of the impact it could and still can make. It has allowed woman to talk about their issues and connect around the world. The twist is that though it is very helpful it can also be hurtful. The article states how it is as easy to order a girl online, as it is to order a pizza. Technology has opened up sex trafficking to a whole new level. Also, technology has led to many women be terrorized, ridiculed and bullied. There is backlash and many times it can come from other feminists. I think with all this in mind it is important that feminist work in a united front.

Feminist Heroes

Comedy Central's new show, Broad City, is my new favorite thing in the whole world.  It follows the lives of two New York women, in their twenties.  It is absolutely hysterical, and so relatable.  The show is filled with feminist undertones.  It is so refreshing to watch a TV show with two strong female leads. I really love seeing funny women being rewarded for their work on such a high level.  The two main actresses are also the writers and creators of the series.  It makes a huge difference when women get to act out a script written by a woman rather than a man.  It makes the program and the characters much more relatable.   It has been so successful already, and I know it will continue to be.

cheerleaders

This weekend I was at the tournament for the NCAA March Madness. We have talked about the topic of cheerleaders a little in class before, but it was interesting to see them in a giant stadium for this college setting as well. The issue we've come across before is that women are often forced into the role of supporting men rather than having their own personal endeavors. I do not deny the truth behind this, however i'm not sure we can completely pin cheerleaders that way. One of the first things i'll point out is that there are male cheerleaders at all these events, and their role is to put the female cheerleaders up on a pedestal. I will concede the facts that the cheerleaders serve the role of looking pretty, entertaining the fans, and keeping people cheering for the male basketball players. However a key takeaway is that these sort of things are only oppressive and sexist when someone is forced into these positions out of necessity or scarcity of other options. These women have chosen to be cheerleaders and I assume they enjoy it otherwise they wouldn't continue with it. Oppression exists in many places and shapes or forms, but I think that cheerleaders are not an example of this as many people usually would say.

Extra Post Welfare Video

http://www.upworthy.com/if-you-think-only-poor-people-need-welfare-wait-till-you-see-what-really-rich-folks-do-with-it?c=reccon1

This video is kind of long, but if you get the chance it is definitely worth watching. It does a really good job of explaining what we were taking about last class period. In the video they talk extensively about all the programs that the wealthy use to bolster themselves and that are considered entitlements, while at the same time vilifying those that use welfare services that are available to their class. The discrepancy between entitlements and welfare also comes in the stigma attached that comes with using welfare, whereas there is no stigma attached to taking advantage of tax breaks. I think what is especially important is how this video highlights that the companies whose employees are likely to be on welfare like Walmart and McDonalds, receive huge tax breaks and subsidies, and by paying their employees such low wages with so few benefits there employees are forced to use government welfare to survive.  She also discusses how the US spends much more every year on giving tax breaks to homeowners then it does on giving public housing to the poor. I think that the historical context of welfare that the video outlines helped me understand where people first started thinking that the poor abuse welfare. 

We Need to Stop Shaming Confident Women

http://elitedaily.com/women/why-we-need-to-stop-shaming-confident-women/

"We teach girls to shrink themselves. To make themselves smaller. We say 'You can have ambition but not too much. You should aim to be successful but not too successful.'"
This is a quote from the Ted Talk by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, who is a feminist. This quote was used in an article by Tara Bowling, who is a writer for Elite Daily. In this article she talks about how she posed a selfie on instagram right after waking up with the #flawless. She was refering to Beyonce's song Flawless and also trying to show that she is confident in the way she looks without excessive amounts of make up and time spent getting ready. She wasn't trying to be cocky. In this article she defines the difference between cockiness and confidence. Cockiness is believing you are better than other people because of how you look, how intelligent you are or how talented you may be. Confidence is recognizing your own positive attributes and abilities and believing in yourself. The distinction between these two words is key because Tara received a lot of backlash from friends and instagram followers claiming that she is cocky and conceded for posting that picture; however she was just joking around and trying to show her confidence in her self. Also note that these were other women who were criticizing her for this picture. As women we have so many obstacles in life that males and society crate for us, so we should not make it harder for each other. Women should be encouraging with each other and comment "You go girl!" on instagram posts like Tara's, not talking bad behind each others backs about how cocky they are. We need to band together and make each other feel confident in ourselves because we all should be and no one should ever be able to take that away from us.

Birth control

http://www.aol.com/article/2014/03/23/health-law-birth-control-coverage-before-justices/20854890/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cmain5%7Cdl28%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D456887

While checking the news as i sometimes do, i saw this post about Obama and Birth control. This made me think about the discussion that we had in class last thursday. We talked about how its a womens decision to take birthcontrol and no mans. It didnt take me a long time to form my opinion on this. I think that women are the only people who can decide this matter, frankly i dont think its fair for a man to have a say. while this might come off wrong, i just cant understand why any men think they have a right to infer that a women is slutty because she is taking birth control? Also, we were talking about men takign birthcontrol. i think this would be really good, i think it would be good to be able to share this responsibility with the opposite sex. as most of us women know, its difficult to remember to take it at the EXACT same time every day.. and it also has negative effects on our bodies. Why should we be the only ones to suffer from this? but on the other hand.. i have to say that i dont think that i could trust a man to take his birthcontrol in order to not get me pregnant. i think its just to big of a risk to lay in the mans hand because at the end of the day a women is the one who is going to get pregnant so i feel like we as women are the most at risk and therfore i think women probably wont trust the men

What If You Stick A Gay Person And An Anti-Gay Straight Person In A Room And Ask Them To Hug?

http://www.upworthy.com/what-if-you-stick-a-gay-person-and-an-anti-gay-straight-person-in-a-room-and-ask-them-to-hug

This video was created by The Gay Women Channel on YouTube in response to the video of complete strangers kissing for the very first time (which I have not yet seen). I was initially a little skeptical about watching this video because I was nervous about the initial meeting between the two parties. The results absolutely shocked me. When I think of homophobia, I honestly think of just hateful people who simply do not educate themselves on the LGBT community, thinking that identifying as gay or trans is a person's "choice."

If anything, this video opened my eyes to so many assumptions that I made myself. A lot of the anti-gay straight individuals were raised to believe that homosexuality is a sin or that it is "disgusting." At the same time, none of these individuals seemed like bad guys whatsoever, just very confused and uneducated about the LGBT community. It actually gave me chills that the one woman made the sign of the cross upon meeting the gay woman. But whenever they did hug, although some hugs were a bit awkward, it was truly beautiful to watch. This video also busted so many myths, with the one girl saying "You're so beautiful. I didn't think lesbians were so pretty" and the one guy saying he was grossed out by gay sex, yet the gay male noted that he was grossed out by heterosexual sex.

This video also made me think about why I am such an activist towards LGBT rights. I think it shows that gay or straight, we are all just people and we deserve to be treated like equal individuals. I always find it appalling that my best friend and I can have literally everything in common, yet I can marry someone I love and I can have a safe and secure job simply because of my sexual orientation, whereas he can only get married in 17 states and risks being denied a job because he identifies as gay.

I strongly encourage you all to watch this video. Although some of the hugs seemed awkward, it was still an incredible video to watch. I truly hope that this video influenced some of the individuals in it for the better, like the elderly woman who said the gay man "reminded her of her husband."

Issues With Stalking

http://www.popcenter.org/problems/stalking/
(The link above is just for general information on stalking laws.)
Although the United States now has better anti-stalking laws than it did in the not so distant past, said laws are far from perfect.  I regularly watch a law called Stalked, hosted by Dr. Michelle Ward, and I have noticed several patterns that are highly problematic for victims of stalking.  For example, it is often more difficult to obtain protection against spouses (former or current), especially when the couple shares things such as custody, bank accounts and property rights.  Such activities fundamentally run on communication, making harassment frighteningly easy.  It is difficult for a woman to obtain a protective order against another woman, especially when the stalking is based on something like envy or fueled by a specific wrongdoing, as opposed to the typical male sex-fueled harassment.  Because the behavior is not sexual in nature, law enforcement often writes it off as a "cat fight," especially when the local police are predominantly male.  African American women also face greater danger at the hands of stalkers because their male stalkers are initially given less serious sentences than their Caucasian counterparts (unfortunately, one of the only legal aspects that this happens in).  While watching the show last night, one African American woman's ex-husband was released from jail on parole only two days after charging at her with a knife and throwing their infant son across the room.  The danger in violent stalking for African American women is also increased due to the likelihood of children being involved.  From what I have observed, white female victims tend to have 0-2 kids across a wide variety of ages when they are stalked, while African American women tend to have 1-4 children who are usually younger; it is rare for these kids to be past their mid teens from what I have seen.  Not only does this put children, who are usually afforded more protection under the law, at an increased risk, it increases the risk on the mother who has to protect these children.  She cannot fight solely for herself, or rather, she usually will not.  One of these cases even involved the death of a teenage girl because the police did not take the threat seriously enough.
Stalking laws are actually disadvantageous towards men as well.  Since male law enforcement does not usually take female stalkers seriously (as mentioned in an above example), they tend to scoff at men claiming that they are victims.  The underlying attitude seems to me "can't you control your woman" or "man up, you're the stronger one" or "can't you take care of your own problems?"  Such attitudes have horrific consequences, because although female stalkers are significantly rarer than male stalkers, they often succeed in killing their victims due to a lack of intervention of law enforcement.  Gender roles affect both men and women negatively in these cases.

Extra Post: no matter what.. its "Your Fault"

My boyfriend and I are sexually active. I am currently on a 4-year birth control, even though I am not expected to have children due to complications with my body. It is located in my arm and is basically a plastic thin rod. So with all of that being said, here's my story: Over spring break I saw my boyfriend just about everyday. We noticed that someone put condoms in my drawer however. My parents "claim" they had nothing to do with it. Anyways, my boyfriend and I never use condoms. I brought up the idea of using one, and his response was that it doesn't feel as good and his answer was no. So keep that in mind. I said we should, he said we shouldn't. Then we talked about how he thinks that I shouldn't be on birth control, but I'm only on so that my cycle will begin and start to regulate. So now keep in mind that he doesn't want me on birth control and doesn't want to use a condom, yet I do. He finally went back to his university in Kentucky and I went back to school, not thinking about anything out of the ordinary. I looked at my arm on Monday and noticed that the area where my birth control is, it was red. I touched the rod and it felt as if it broke. Later that day my body was responding weird and when I called my boyfriend to tell him what happened he was not happy. In fact he forced me to go to Walgreens to take a test. At that point so much was going through my head and on top of that he was saying that it was my fault because I somehow broke my birth control rod. Anyways the tests were negative but the moral of the story is, it's all my fault even though he didn't want on birth control from the start, and he didn't want to use a condom. Was it all my fault?

Jon Stewart Video

http://thedailyshow.cc.com/videos/cbbn22/third-world-health-care---knoxville--tennessee-edition
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/05/jon-stewart-food-stamps_n_4903215.html

We referred to some of the recent Jon Stewart videos during last class period, but I think that these two especially do a good job of highlighting some of the stereotypes that people have about people living in poverty. The first video demonstrates that people oftentimes have the misconception that those in poverty are "lazy" or that they should "just pull themselves out of poverty". It also shows how big the healthcare problem is especially for those living in poverty who can't currently afford it.  I think it is because people often stereotype and judge those that are living in poverty, this then causes those who actually could use the assistance from utilizing it. It is ridiculous the anecdotes that people use to justify why these services should be eliminated. I especially appreciate in the second video when a politician used inaccurate information about food stamps to be used for fitness centers. That this was even ever an argument at all seems even more absurd given the obesity problem in America being what it is. Overall I think that these videos highlight how ignorant even the politicians making these decisions about welfare in America are. It bothers me that the people making these decisions will never have experienced these problems first hand, but are making the decisions.