Thursday, April 3, 2014
Fighting against eve teasing
Today, I was sitting at a coffee shop and I ordered a cup of coffee. Everything was going great until I realized that one of the workers kept looking at me and did not stop. First, i thought he was spacing out, but I realized I was the only person facing him. After that, he pulled out his cleaning appliances for the third time and kept cleaning throughout the time I was there. I was really uncomfortable sitting there and was about to leave, but then I was realized that I haven't done anything wrong and this would definitely make him keep doing to other girls. I decided to look him in the eye without shame when he looks at me the next time and it worked. He was uncomfortable and after that he didn't dare to look back again. After this incident, I realized that most guys think that girls tend to be weak and would never react to whatever they do. I would actually suggest that if it is safe we can make them feel uncomfortable and they would definitely stop. In order for them to stop, we have to fight and not just run from the situation. So next time in a situation, don't leave but try to fight.
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This happened to me many of times. The last time it happen I was in a store shopping and noticed that a man was in a women product aisle. I too noticed him looking in my direction yet thought he was looking out the window into the parking lot or something. As I continued to shop he was still there not picking up anything or saying anything. So I asked "can I help you" and he immediately walked away. I later saw him with two older women and realized that he had a mental condition. It made me have another conversation with my daughter about being aware of her surrounds when we are in stores because like all kids they like to go to the toy aisle by themselves. I said all of this to say my method is always "CAN I HELP YOU". Like you stated making them uncomfortable and letting me know how much danger I may be in.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know this behavior was called "eve testing" and that it was common. Thanks for the heads up, I always lose these things because I feel awkward easily... I've even spent times dodging people like this throughout stores or avoiding places altogether. Guess that's something I have to work on.
ReplyDeleteyeah I'm always conflicted when its appropriate or not to do this, but a lot of times I end up wishing I had after I just awkwardly leave a place earlier than I had planned because I was being stared down etc.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for standing your ground! I've also been in this situation before too, and I never know how to act. I like Shaneqah's idea of verbally saying "Can I help you" or "Do you need help?" and that is something I will definitely keep in mind to try to do in the future.
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