Sunday, April 13, 2014
Who should pay on a date?
This topic came in my friends group when one of quote posters talked about how women can and do ask men out on a date and pay. I brought this topic up in my group and the result I received was interesting. Some girls said that no I expect the guy to pay every time, some said that it should rotate every time, and the rest said the bill should always be split in half. In my opinion, I think the bill should be split every time. This one shows equality and saves any arguments. I never understood the concept of why the guy always has to pay or even ask the girl on a date. It is not a rule written anywhere, but something the society has formed for a couple. I understand if the guy pays on special occasions like a birthday, but it is not necessary every time that the guy pays.
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I agree that this practice is ridiculous. I believe that there are a lot of women out there who claim to believe in equal rights but still expect some men to abide by the rules of chivalry: opening doors, making the first move, paying for bills. At the end of the day, we can't have it both ways, and taking turns paying the bill seems like a small price to pay for equality.
ReplyDeleteI agree with this as well. I think the guy always paying is unnecessary and it also makes me feel uncomfortable at times because I feel like the guy feels like he needs to pay and it just creates a weird situation that could all be solved if the check was just split.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree the bill should be split. That practice came about in a time when men were expected to be the "bread winners" and women were expected to be given allowances from either their father or their husband so they could not possibly pay. If you want equality you should show that you have the capabilities to pay for the dinner your male date has. There is another argument that whoever asked the person on the date should pay because they suggested the idea, I understand where that argument is coming from but in my mind it seems more like a bribe situation haha. Admittedly though, I always offer to split/insist on splitting, but a small part of me might wonder why a guy wouldnt offer to pay if its deemed polite (i hate that I wonder that because its a product of the norm but i do haha)
ReplyDeletea funny excuse to not offer to split while still being a feminist though could be your protesting unequal pay haa
ReplyDeleteI think there's different scenarios in which either person may be considered 'treating' the other. If there was a restaurant that I've been to and wanted to take my girlfriend to, I would pay for it. In another example, if I was going to visit her in her own hometown, she's more likely to pay for a dinner than I would be. Splitting bills is a fine method in my opinion, but people should just do whatever works for them. There's no problem with a guy paying every time, the issue would be if the man was expected to and taken for granted.
ReplyDeleteI definitely agree that I wish this practice would go away, and we just split the bill. I think that it creates a really awkward dynamic and situation for both people. I feel uncomfortable letting someone else pay for me, but I don't like pressing the issue.
ReplyDeletei agree to, even though it is a nice gesture. Its is so uncomfortable like Molly said. Like, when ever ive gone out on my first few dates with someone.. im almost like holding my breath hoping they dont pay because it just makes me feel weird.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the same boat as Matthew on this one. When my boyfriend and I initially started going out, we split the bill on everything because we were either making the same amount of money or because our parents gave us money when we were going out...it's high school haha. But now that we have been going out for 3 and a half years, we have been taking turns paying for SO MANY things. For example, though this may seem like a poor example, for a period of time all my internships were unpaid, and my boyfriend has a paid job as a restaurant server where he easily makes a huge amount of money in one weekend. During that time, if we did go out to eat or saw a movie, he helped pay for a lot of it because I did not necessarily have the means to. Now that I have a part-time job, we will either split the bill, or if he picks me up from school I'll pay for his gas or buy him dinner for making the trip to SLU. Like Matthew said, I think it kind of depends on the situation and whatever works for that particular couple.
ReplyDeleteI think that it all depends on where the intention is coming from. My boyfriend and I always just rotate. We don't keep exact track of who has paid more because at the end of the day our relationship is just rooted in equality.
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