slowly slipping into norms

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/apr/11/how-my-husband-and-i-achieved-equality-at-home


I loved this article because it is a reminder that even if we are conscious of constricting social norms, it doesnt mean we've totally avoided them for good. If we are committed to doing something we can't let the routine of life make us substitute our ambitions for convenience.  The saddest part of this article to me is when she says, "It had reached the point where I didn't want to feel so hostile and resentful all the time, so I made a weird, lopsided bargain: I would do most of the child, house and garden work, taxes and drudge stuff. All I asked for in return, I told Tom, was this: "I just want you to notice – and say thank you." They had made an agreement before getting married that she would not be the "typical" 1960s housewife her mother was, so that they both had equal house chores and could focus on their professional lives the same amount, but the fact that the woman was supposed to do all of those chores was so engrained in her head she felt bad reminding him of that bargain! Its so sad to me. Though, this was a really interesting statement as well, "These norms are what get us into a state of being so intense I'd come to think of it as the Overwhelm. And spinning in the Overwhelm keeps us from having the time to imagine a way out. Talk to a father about cutting back on work hours to become more involved at home, and the ideal worker takes a tug. Both men and women instinctively know, and social science research is finding, that he would be far more punished in the workplace for flexible work than she would." Anyway, I really loved how the mother and father decided to do this together, and recognize they had slacked on their beliefs together. It is a really interesting article and I hope you skim through it