Sunday, February 2, 2014
Conflict of interest
So, I had a conversation this week with a friend of mine who I consider to be one of the best people to turn to when it comes to feminist topics, especially when I want a man's perspective. He and I were talking about post-graduation plans and we found it very interesting that when he is planning for the future he doesn't necessarily factor in 'settling down' and having a family. This is something I often find myself doing almost subconsciously, I factor in at what point I may need to put my career and travel plans on pause for if I ever decide to start a family. I find this to be a conflict because of how much I fight the expectations placed on women and find myself trapped in those expectations. When I was talking to my friend, he said that he thinks it's bullshit that men never have take that into account and women are expected to. Anyway, there was no resolution to the conversation, of course, but I find it interesting that despite how much advocacy I do for women's right to choose their own path, I have a conflict of motivations when thinking about the future. I feel trapped in choosing either career aspirations or family.
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I agree with your point, and find it unfortunate that we still live in a society in which these sorts of expectations are unequally places on women's shoulders. There are certainly many factors that contribute to this phenomenon, such as cultural norms, and institutions that treat this struggle as a personal, rather than political problem. This is something that really worries me about the kinds of sacrifices I'll be forced to make in the future because of this.
ReplyDeleteI was actually thinking about this other day, that no matter what happens every women wants to "settle down" and in order to fulfill that dream, we will have to sacrifice at some point. However, I always asked my mom how she kept working even after being married and having kids. She always replies with the fact that a balance in a relationship is always necessary. I didn't understand her at first, but she is right one shouldn't lose their identity just because they are "settling down". If sacrifices need to be made, it's important the couple together needs to make them rather than just the women.
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