How To Get Your Ex Back

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfcrLsYSOwc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myq7DsZ8Z4A
The approaches given to women and men on how to get their exes back (at least in the opinions of these video makers, and I can't entirely vouch for their reliability, especially considering that the first one sounds like he's faking an accent) are significantly different.  In a nutshell, women are encouraged NOT to act directly, especially soon after the breakup; this can include calling, begging and saying "I still love you." Although these actions seem rather desperate by any standards, when the message is viewed overall, it seems to say "women must not be aggressive, especially in heterosexual romantic relationships." The men, on the other hand, are encouraged to deploy psychological tricks into winning their exes back, when the women are told to passively await his decision (at least in my opinion).  At one point in the male video, the maker advises men not to tell their ex "I'll always be there for you," because she'll date other men and compare you to them, which was phrased exactly as "having her cake and eating it too." It also says not to remain friends (which can be difficult, granted) because this will not "keep other guys out of her life, but encourage her to date other guys.  This came across as rather possessive to me, while women were told to basically seem uninterested and not clingy in the slightest.  It really highlighted the power and ownership dynamics in wider society for me.  However, I think the video was damaging to men as well, because it told them that they should not be upset or moved by the breakup because it would cause romantic idealization.  This undermines men's feelings and vulnerability, enforcing that men should not care as much about the relationship in emotional terms.  I've heard from several of my guy friends after nasty breakups that "girls don't realize how depressed it can make us," which I now believe may be a wider societal problem than a fault with the individuals involved.